"Do you have a flag?"

From this time, hence-forth, Bethany and I claim this parking spot (the one on the left) under this tree at the Bloomington Wall-Mart. In fact we claim this tree too. We like that tree; it helps us find our spot, among other things ;]

Seriously, guys, that's our spot. How come we haven't been able to park there for the last 3 months? How inconsiderate!

MAN's Work!

Bethany and I were watching "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" this last Christmas, and we saw this part that I never remembered. From then on, we have been joking about my "man's work."

• Need that bottle open? Step aside! This is man's work!
• Need to reach something really high up? Step aside, woman! This is man's work!
• Is that thing you're lifting heavy? Step aside! This is man's work!
• Garbage . . . um, what garbage?

Just as I take pride in winning "gold stars," I take great pride in my manly man stuff that only us men can do (cause we're men). We're men for a reason, and that is to do man's work--pure and simple. I look up to Donner, and all those like him, who are not afraid to spread their manly, manny, manish work across the globe. Cause, seriously, who else is gonna do man's work but men? Women? Paaaleeeze! Step aside, little woman, and let this manly man work his magic on that there pickle jar.

What? Oh, don't care about the jar? You want me to clean the kitchen . . . um, that doesn't sound like man's work . . .

I Win the Gold Star!

Ever have a really dumb argument about nothing or proved something to your wife for no reason other than to prove it? Well, in our house, on such occasions, the "winner" of said conversation earns the coveted "gold star" award.

"Actually, hun, the moon takes 23.5 days to revolve around the Earth, not exactly a month." The great thing is that the stuff you say doesn't actually have to be true. For instance, I really have no idea how long the moon actually takes. All that matters is that the other person doesn't know either, and I sounded really smart saying it. Gold star!

Despite being fictional, these gold stars are a great motivator for me to win at even more pointless stuff than usual. In fact, I think I have the most gold stars in this family! Yeah, that's yet another gold star for me!

I think eventually, it might be fun to actually give each other real gold star stickers. That would be awesome. Of course, I'd get the most, you know, cause I'm so awesome.